Will You Shut the Fuck Up?

We all know that one person who is never at a loss for words, but we often wish they would sometime. Vowels and consonants dribble out their throats like hot piss down a bald, hairless leg, for eternity, through the cosmos, into alternate dimensions... do you get the point? We all know that this person will inevitably end up with a mouthful of fecal matter from some land mammal. And no one will feel any sympathy because annoying chatter is, by definition, annoying.
But it’s useful as hell. Socialization is a form of intelligence. This sounds odd to those of European descent because that culture values booksmarts and technique over social ability. Look at our school systems, they focus on memorization and high levels of technique. Other cultures embrace other skills. And speech is certainly a skill. There are people that can read more information from a person walking by than another person can by directly asking them their emotions at that moment. And then when you factor NLP into the sequence...
Neurolinguistics Programming can best be described as the practical study of communication. Its an incredibly useful tool, which can be used to unbelievable effect in therapy, business, and plain old day to day life. This whole post isn’t about NLP; however if you are interested, I’d recommend the following names to you: Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Milton Erickson, and Robert Dilts. I INSIST you watch some of Derren Brown’s stuff on Youtube.
On second thought... maybe not. Some of those tricks I want to pull off and I don’t need competition.
Mindless blabber has its good points as well. It is a bonding ritual, where people communicate their thoughts and emotions to each other. Religion, politics, and sports hold this in common: they all give people something to identify with, as well as channel their values and beliefs. All people enjoy expressing themselves, and how we express ourselves defines who we are. Musicians make music, painters paint pictures, photographers take photos, and social butterflies express themselves through spoken word. Anyone who has a passion for something can tell you the benefits of expressing yourself. Those who blabber mindlessly actually are doing something, even if they are not saying something: they are expressing themselves.
And c’mon, who hasn’t experienced an awkward pause in conversation? Who initiates conversation? What should the topic be? Maybe a joke would best break the silence? If so, what kind of joke? Oh god, this is awkward. Quick, give me a banana and an assload of toothpicks, I need to make a replica of a marine animal!
Still, annoying blather is annoying blather. But maybe the reason we feel so negative towards those who chatter restlessly is because we’re actually jealous of their superior ability to facilitate conversation.