Friday, February 29, 2008

A River Crossing

As he climbed through the jungle, he found yet another
obstacle: a river intersected his path. From the riverside,
he gazed across the rocky waters and planned a way across
using large stones in the river. He started with vigor, but
as he approached the middle of the stream, he found his
boulder boulevard came to an end. Stuck in the middle of
the river, he had two choices: stay put and hope the river
would dry up, or go back and try an alternate route. As he
thought this, he chuckled to himself. With a splash, he
jumped into the water and gleefully completed the crossing
painlessly. It was only water.

Vos estis walri. The Art of Thinking: Part 1

Let me say this right away: The United States is heading in the same direction as the Roman Empire did many many moons ago.

Now for the story that basically inspired this topic.

Way back in Latin II, I learned all about all these "bread and circuses" (which are basically tools to appease the masses) and the corruption in the Roman government. And then it hit me like a virus today. I guess I was destined to write this article for you guys.

Yeah I know that was a GREAT story. (lol)

Anyway, it had to be said. There IS a method to my madness.

A little more on these "Bread and circuses":

The Roman government was basically fucking over the Roman people. They had the shittiest houses possible and the government was as corrupt as it could get (...maybe). So they had to please the people to prevent riots. This was accopmlished using free food and entertainment (which was basically killing people).

Ok. So how does this apply to the United States today?

Well, look at all the entertainment we have:

music, movies, television, internet, video games, ipods, cell phones, computers, sports, magazines, cameras, radios, squids, sports bars, strip clubs, etc.

That's just a few. And there's plenty more within each catergory.

Especially squids.

Anyway, just examine why the Romans had bread and circuses. That was just two things. I just made a list of 15.

So that brings up two things that I have a problem with: 1) There's must be someone out there that is purposely giving us all this entertainment to make us focus on that instead of THINKING and 2) The human race has become HOPELESSLY materialistic.

Let's undress the first point.

I've already made my opinion on the government and the media quite clear: they suck. This is just one more reason I have for hating them. If you've ever read Faranheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, you'd probably know what I mean. Today's youth (myself included) is so focused on the current trends, fads, movies and music (or in my case, the music of the 1970s) that we are losing any intelligence we had. Even more than intelliegence, we are losing our ability to think for ourselves. Even in school, we are taught "facts" instead of thinking for ourselves. And we are rewarded for learning these facts with grades. And we are rewarded for that by getting into college. And we are rewarded for that by getting decent job.

Then what?

We are forced into a routine that most Americans are not even aware of. It's a trap. It's a prison. It's an earthly HELL!

You are taught what is right. You are taught what is wrong. You are taught that there truly AREN'T cats everywhere you look.

So I'm here to tell you that all of that is WRONG!!

THINK FOR YOUR GODDAMN SELF!! I can't tell you exactly how to do it. That you must figure out for yourself. But what I can tell you is this:

-Question authority. Your leaders are lying to you. Your parents are lying to you. Your teachers are lying to you. And best of all, they probably don't even know it.

-Question education. Not everything taught to you in school is true.

Here's one: Sodium Fluoride is one of the most dangerous chemicals found on this planet. Wanna know where you can find this chemical? Toothpaste, mouth rinse and EVEN YOUR FUCKING WATER (in some areas...thank GOD it's not here...)

-Question anything you know FOR SURE. Chances are it's probably false.

And most important of all...

-Question this entire article.

Why?

I'm telling you my opinion and my feelings on the information I received through various medians. I learned how to think for myself and not have the media spoonfeed me information. The links on the left side of this page is the media I have chosen for myself. HOWEVER, I am human and I could be wrong. You must decide for yourself if I am telling the truth or if I'm just another crazy walrus just ranting away on a blog.

In the end, you could either take these words to heart or just shrug it off and punch me in the face for saying that fluoride can kill you and that squids are the ULTIMATE source of entertainment.

The ball's in your court...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Commander X: Truth Speaker



http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8420071240361070544

This is a speech by "Commander X", a retired Military Intelligence Official who was one of the first agents recruited for the C.I.A's top secret remote viewing project. He exposes the truth about our government and its secret policies, as well as some alien/UFO speculation. It's about 1 hour and 30 minutes. Definately take a look (It's worth your time).

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Is this our Future?

I hate politicians. This is nothing new or even remotely surprising. But tonight I had the chance to watch two politicians debate on CNN, and now, I am unshakably AGAINST all media backed politicians.

This ‘discussion’ was possibly the most depressing spectacle I’ve witnessed since Zeitgeist. Important questions like “What is your stance on the War on Drugs,” which funnels billions of tax payers’ dollars every day into a dream that will NEVER achieve victory were not even mentioned, while the two candidates debates for 15 minutes about the ethics of plagiarizing a speech. First of all, the candidates are in a position to achieve their ideals (but so are we... I’ll save that for another day). Even if the candidates are plagiarizing others, who cares? As long as the ideas are sound, these are people who are trying to change policies for the better (or so we hope). It doesn’t matter whose idea it is, as long as it gets achieved. This is not high school, this is not college. This is real world were talking about, and as much as we want to believe it, words aren’t action. Action is important, not originality.

This greatly publicized event was deplorable. Yes, I did look that one up, because I am so disgusted by the acerebrality of the debate. My horror stems not from the fact that the politicians discussed little of their plans for action and instead focused on pointing the finger at Bush or the other candidates, but that the majority of Americans think these politicians are actually talking about solutions. Obama made a point about healthcare, and the Mexico-US border was vaguely discussed. That was about it. Several legitimate questions were posed, but both candidates wiggled their way out of answering directly. Politicians should focus SOLELY on their plan, and not blame others for what has happened. The past is past, we need to deal with it NOW. It doesn’t matter who fucked up in the past because it can’t be reversed. And all this finger pointing is childish.

To the politicians: Take your thumbs out of your asses and talk about what you will do. Are you really that afraid to talk about your ideas? If not, why not focus on them? If so, why should we vote for you?

To America: Please wake up. The people who are trying to get your vote are hiding from you. If they have nothing to hide, they should show their cards and stick to their stories. If you continue to support these sneaky politicians, they will continue to thrive, and the change you want to see in the government will never come about. If you want change, take a stand. Don’t put up with this bullshit anymore. Yes, I am proposing you research candidates that are not republican or democratic. I propose you look for leaders who are not afraid to share their ideas, and the only way this can be done is to do the research yourself. Do not rely on the media to spoon feed you your opinions. As we’ve witnessed tonight, they only care about putting on a show, not politics, not change, and not making the world a better place.

The Constitution, War, and the Fed (aka The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly)

Unconstitutional.

What exactly does this word mean and how much have we fucked this principle up?

Well, in a Constitutional Republic like our beloved United States of America (we are NOT a Democracy), any law passed and basically anything done by anybody within our borders must be constitutional, or permitted by The Constitution of the United States.

Therefore if something is unconstitutional, it must be against the law and the person who commits this act of treason should be punished, right?

Right.

And you know what? Our Constitution gives us a lot of freedoms (freedom of press, religion, etc. You know the drill).

Well there’s some parts of this document that not many people know we are breaking.

Here’s one lovely example: war.

NEWS FLASH: We have not had a legal war since Word War II.

Yes that includes Iraq.

Here’s why: According to the Constitution, war must be declared BY CONGRESS!! In case you didn’t know, every war we’ve had from the Korean War to the Iraq War has been declared by the President, thus implying that EVERY WAR WE’VE FOUGHT SINCE THE 1950’S HAS BEEN ILLEGAL!!

And there are so many more examples out there (if you are willing to look). Fact of the matter is, our country is bombarded by so many unconstitutional laws, wars and taxes and the public doesn’t know shit about it!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It’s all about money. The government wants every dollar you own. Wars are just another excuse to gather more cash from your pockets. And it doesn’t go to government programs either. It goes to the Federal Reserve. And the Federal Reserve is such BULLSHIT! (By the way, the Federal Reserve is unconstitutional, too!)

Here’s something I bet you didn’t know: the dollar has NO value whatsoever. Before 1971, the dollar was backed by gold. This meant that if you REALLY wanted to, you could exchange a dollar bill for the equivalent amount in gold. But, now this dollar is backed by NOTHING. It is PAPER…worthless at that! The only way it has ANY value is by the amount of the currency is in circulation. And during war, the circulation of money is increased, which causes INFLATION. Ugh…

In the end, it’s a really complicated process, but trust me on this: the Fed was a bad idea.

Ok…if you don’t trust me, TRUST THE FACTS:

http://www.brainsturbator.com/forums/viewthread/685/

There are quite a few graphs on there to show how the Fed is failing. It was DOOMED for failure from the beginning and now we’re heading into a recession.

Am I being pessimistic? No. I’m being realistic. I like to be optimistic, but it’s pretty goddamn hard when you’re dealing with FUCKING amateurs (God bless you Walter! You’re actions in ‘Nam have not been forgotten!).

Finally, some good porn

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Will You Shut the Fuck Up?

We all know that one person who is never at a loss for words, but we often wish they would sometime. Vowels and consonants dribble out their throats like hot piss down a bald, hairless leg, for eternity, through the cosmos, into alternate dimensions... do you get the point? We all know that this person will inevitably end up with a mouthful of fecal matter from some land mammal. And no one will feel any sympathy because annoying chatter is, by definition, annoying.
But it’s useful as hell. Socialization is a form of intelligence. This sounds odd to those of European descent because that culture values booksmarts and technique over social ability. Look at our school systems, they focus on memorization and high levels of technique. Other cultures embrace other skills. And speech is certainly a skill. There are people that can read more information from a person walking by than another person can by directly asking them their emotions at that moment. And then when you factor NLP into the sequence...
Neurolinguistics Programming can best be described as the practical study of communication. Its an incredibly useful tool, which can be used to unbelievable effect in therapy, business, and plain old day to day life. This whole post isn’t about NLP; however if you are interested, I’d recommend the following names to you: Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Milton Erickson, and Robert Dilts. I INSIST you watch some of Derren Brown’s stuff on Youtube.
On second thought... maybe not. Some of those tricks I want to pull off and I don’t need competition.
Mindless blabber has its good points as well. It is a bonding ritual, where people communicate their thoughts and emotions to each other. Religion, politics, and sports hold this in common: they all give people something to identify with, as well as channel their values and beliefs. All people enjoy expressing themselves, and how we express ourselves defines who we are. Musicians make music, painters paint pictures, photographers take photos, and social butterflies express themselves through spoken word. Anyone who has a passion for something can tell you the benefits of expressing yourself. Those who blabber mindlessly actually are doing something, even if they are not saying something: they are expressing themselves.
And c’mon, who hasn’t experienced an awkward pause in conversation? Who initiates conversation? What should the topic be? Maybe a joke would best break the silence? If so, what kind of joke? Oh god, this is awkward. Quick, give me a banana and an assload of toothpicks, I need to make a replica of a marine animal!
Still, annoying blather is annoying blather. But maybe the reason we feel so negative towards those who chatter restlessly is because we’re actually jealous of their superior ability to facilitate conversation.

The Legacy of the Ranting Walrus

I promise, this is the last philosophy post for a while, hopefully ever. Maybe one day i will find an actual topic to talk about instead of making sweeping generalizations based off of sketchy logic.

As with all philosophy, this was plucked straight from my large intestine. This particular fecal assortment was arranged for my friend, so he could do other things besides his english hw. Enough, now post.

Sitting back in a chair, its easy to reminisce about the old days, when struggles were fought and won, and obstacles were overcome. Resting on your achievements can be a very comforting thing, but aside from comfort, what exactly does a legacy function for? Complacency is the death of motivation. When one feels their job is done, they sit back and relax, forgetting their initial drive that lead them to achieve in the first place. But worst of all, complacency leads to bragging. If one is not currently working to achieve their goals, then what does one say when confronted by this fact? The majority of people find it perfectly appropriate to cite their past experiences to show they have put in the effort and have achieved something, after which they give up on dreaming and end the pursuit of their goals. The only thing they have achieved is a bad excuse for laziness. Those who expect their legacies to carry them to prosperous lands of plenty and joy are deluding themselves. Your legacy will not take you anywhere, it is only a history of things you have done. The only way to get what you want is to get it, and there’s no other way to get it than action instead of talking about how you used to get it. Obviously you don’t get it anymore, and as far as I’m concerned, you’ve given up on trying, yourself, and life, all at the same time.
But there are those that argue having a legacy to lean on can help support an identity, especially in dire times of trying. There are numerous ways to achieve motivation, and some ways have fewer far reaching consequences than others. Those who look to their past to find support for themselves look to different times when certain people reacted a certain way. This is history, the detailed account of how these people reacted under these conditions. Those conditions are unlikely to ever be repeated in the exact same way, so how could looking to the past ever really help one? The situations are different; the people are different; everything is different. The only way to get through these times is to persevere and not lose track of your goals and ideals. For our thoughts really are who we are.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

What Is And What Should Never Be

Here's an update about what is to come eventually on the Walrus and what new features are on now:

1) Literally five minutes ago, I made a guestbook for the site. Why? Cuz I was bored and I'm procrastinating on homework again. Specifically, my History Term Paper. Anyways, sign it if you have anything good to say (or bad...just let us know you actually came here because as of right now I'm assuming that this is a DEAD zone)

2) We have a poll..."Who's the best Presidential candidate?"
I'm quite shocked to see how many Democrats we have amongst us. I'm not condemning you...I'm just saying...

3) LINKS! We have links to sites that we often visit. Hopefully they will be of SOME use to you...

Coming up...

1) Porn...but that's a given. Wait...we didn't post any porn yet? WTF??? I'll get on it. I promise.

2) Articles on squids. Maybe.

3) I'm currently working on an article about the idea of something being "unconstitutional" and how this somehow doesn't affect the decisions made by the leaders of America. If that doesn't sound boring to you, then you MUST be in the right place. If it does, then I'll try to change your mind.

4) An article on how the Federal Reserve fucked us up.

Z) Something a little less depressing. Trust me...not EVERYTHING I think about it depressing.

+) And more porn.


Umm...yeah...
And in case you were wondering, the title is a Led Zeppelin song. Does it really apply? Not really. Do I care? No. I just like the song and you'll have to live with it. So there!

haHA!!

Monday, February 18, 2008

The Lesser of Two Evils

Republican or Democrat?
That’s a question many voters are facing these days. But here’s my question for you: does it have to be? It hasn’t always been a two-man race.

Let’s take the election of 1860. We had not two…not three…but FOUR presidential candidates running at the same time…from DIFFERENT parties. You have the famed Abraham Lincoln from the NEWLY formed Republican Party (You’ll see why I stressed the word new in a moment), John C. Breckinridge from the Southern Democratic Party, Stephen A. Douglas from the Northern Democratic Party and finally John Bell from the Constitutional Union Party.

Guess who won?

Lincoln!

See, back then, people actually looked at the issues. And I’m sure there’s people out there that do actually look at the issues and how we can solve them. But the majority of US citizens don’t. They look at who OTHER PEOPLE are supporting. I mean there’s the youth vote, the black vote, the Hispanic vote, the evangelical vote, the female vote, the squid vote, you name it! And that puts pressure, I guess (I mean I’m not the least bit intimidated by the youth vote…I don’t like Obama. But there’s people that are).

So basically what I want to say is, why pick Republican or Democrat? Have you seen anything GOOD come out of the White House in the past few decades? Let’s face it: Clinton sucked. Bush sucked. Which of the two evils would YOU choose?

The answer should be neither. Now, I’m not telling you that you CAN’T vote for either of those parties, just know that there are OTHER OPTIONS! (Gasp!)

Check this out! There’s the Constitution Party. There’s the Libertarian Party.

Why haven’t you heard about them? The media.

Now here’s where I get mad.

The media is FORCING REPUBLICAN AND DEMOCRAT DOWN YOUR THROAT. Not only that, but they’re also forcing certain candidates down your throat. I’m sure you’ve heard VERY LITTLE about Ron Paul. Why? Because the media is trying to make him look like it’s not possible for him to win. And the worst part is that it’s all working.

Now I have a question for you. Do you like taxes? If so, why? Do you like to give away your hard earned cash so that Congressmen could just stuff it in their pockets? How would you like it if I told you that NONE of that money is going to the war, but rather RIGHT to the Federal Reserve? But that’s another story all together.

My point is this: One of Ron Raul’s messages was to abolish the IRS, the Federal Reserve, and the annoying income tax (which are all UNCONSTITUTIONAL, by the way). The government likes your money. The media is controlled by the government.

Now you make the connection.

Do you want change yet?

Friday, February 15, 2008

The End of America (As You And I Know It)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjALf12PAWc

This is a speech given by author Naomi Wolf about dictators, how democracy in the US is failing and how we've all seen this happen before. It's quite long (just under an hour), but I highly encourage all to sit through it.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Sorry 'bout that

Yeah, my last post probably casts the image that I am indeed another angry teen with confidence problems due to my excessively bad acne. But this is not the case. I am a happy person overflowing with joy and love and all that crazy bull. Whatever.

Today I'm going to attempt to counterbalance the negativity of my previous post with some enlightening over-optimistic philosophy. That's your only warning.

In english today, I was asked to think of a time I had revenge. This whole concept of 'getting even' seems silly to me, but a lot of the kids in my class were very serious. everyone had a great story about how this person wronged them, and to get retribution they made the aggressor's life worse. What upset me most was that no one even momentarily considered how their retribution would improve the situation for anyone. The only way to 'right a wrong' is to forgive, and try to understand why the aggression happened in the first place.

Who really does benefit from revenge? Certainly not you. You must spend time and energy thinking of the perfect way to get back, time that could have been spent doing something that would benefit yourself, or someone else. Instead, you use your powers of creativity to hurt and harm others. Is this the best way to achieve a peaceful society?

What people have to see is the cycle of revenge can be broken, and very easily. Stop caring about revenge. The past is past, and its time to move on. Dwelling on the unpleasant is never a good thing. True, there are some situations where one has to stare straight into the face of negativty and bad situations, but simply because the situation sucks doesn't mean you have to feel bad and get upset. Anger and hatred are feelings we choose to feel. So are happiness and forgiveness. Which do you choose?

But dude, what about people who constantly take advantage of you? Those assholes who are constantly getting in the way and forcing you to deal with them? There's two ways of dealing with these kinds of situations: be a buddhist and genuinely don't care, but this method doesnt work for a lot of people. The other is to learn that some people need to be avoided, and using negativity to deal with problems is never constructive. Thats a hard lesson to learn, and it takes some time getting used to it. When someone comes and tells you, "Uh, Jeremy... I accidentally smashed your beautiful antique guitar over a giant multi-dimensional butterfly. Hope you're not upset." its hard to react with kindness and understanding. But getting angry won't make the guitar piece itself back together, stop the butterflies from manifesting themselves in this dimension, or make your friend any more sorry for breaking your guitar.

In conclusion, you should never have to ask the question, "Is this squid or vagina?"

Because I can...

In a desperate attempt to fill the blog, I decided to copy something from my facebook notes. At this time, I'd like to establish that this is my personal belief and not necessarily that of any other contributors. But (because I have nothing better to do) I have decided to post this anyway.

Someone explain this to me.

According to the History Channel...
Billions of years ago there was star dust...this eventually gathered into masses of rock which started to crash into each other. Somehow, planets get formed (because crashing rocks into little bits somehow creates a planet). Now, things get really fucking hot on this planet right...like WAAAY over the boiling point of water...yet SOMEHOW water is found on Earth in the liquid form! So from here, down DEEP DEEP in the oceans (which came from stardust, mind you) things are EVEN HOTTER...so hot that elements somehow create amino acids (the building block of life). So from here these amino acids gather up together and form this tiny organism. After billions of more years, this tiny organism SOMEHOW evolves into you and me...HUMANS.So basically the origin of life according to the History Channel is that star dust (which just HAPPENED to be there).

WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY SMOKING?? (And where can I get some?)

Are you really fucking telling me that I'm the same thing as a fucking star? I'm exactly the same as our Sun? I'm nothing more than a living and breathing piece of galactic dust? Get real...

Rant over.

So basically to summarize, I am against the Big Bang Theory, the Theory of Evolution, and the fact that Earth existed for over BILLIONS of years. It just doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm a little skeptical over Intelligent Design myself, but it makes much more sense to me. And until I find something that makes more sense, that is my personal belief.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

What is this shit?

For all of you fortunate enough not to attend high school, I'd like to inform you of the bullshit thats going on at mine. Students are being forced to wear these crappy little name tags that have our beautiful faces on them next to a bar code so we can be easily scanned, sorted, and shoved through the system like the ignorant lumps of shit the administration thinks we are. True, they're not that inconvenient, its just that they're useless as hell. And I don't appreciate being numbered and locked up like a fucking criminal, which is worthy of a rant itself....

Which reminds me, what was I saying? Only one paragraph in and I'm lost... sounds promising.

As afore mentioned, these IDs have a bar code, which has only one use: storing your fake money with the closet child molesters that run our 'house of education.' No joke, my freshman year a teacher was locked up for child porn, and a year later a music director from a middle school in our district followed suit. They should at least be able to get away with it. What do they teach you, nowadays...

But the ID has more than one use: it annoys the shit out of the majority of our student body. However, most students don't have the balls, patience, or wisdom to fight this arbitrary measure. The rest of this loosely connected rant will be dedicated to the education (and this is real education, not the bullshit they try to pass off as knowledge in class) of my peers.

First of all, these IDs are very plain. VERY. There are people faking passports, and doing a damn good job at it. Why can't these people, the dangerous, organized criminals that would probably be more effective than a stupid babbling idiot (but then again... look at who they would have to get past. Maybe getting past the prison guards is easier than I suspect.) not use their resources and make a fake ID? Fuck, all I've got is an internet connection and a printer and I can do it. Just take a picture of some awkward pimply teen, put it next to a Cheerio's bar code, and write a 5 digit number and you too can avoid getting a sent to sit in silence with a classroom full of your peers. But you wouldn't go to it anyway, you're got better things to do, like read the angry ramblings of a horny pimply teen. And the current policy for those lacking IDs is to send them to Transportation and get a retarded little sticker that has your name scribbled on it in the telltale handwriting of a person in the midsts of a crack binge. Like its so hard to walk in the general direction of the office for just long enough to appease whoever is sending you, after which you can carry on with your plan and finish blowing up the school.

Supposing that wasn't enough to stop terrorists from getting into our school, how about this: the IDs do not indicate who currently is holding weapons in their backpack, trousers, sexy underwear, etc. There are no alarms that go off when you bring a gun into the school. No bells go off when an oz of pure, powdery coke makes its way into the building. But they can tell if you're in a gang by your sense of fashion. Way to go keeping us safe.

But this is all bullshit, cause the ID is a security policy, right? In case of an emergency, the IDs would allow teachers to quickly determine who is in our school and who isn't, right? So the IDs only become useful in the case of an emergency? Ah, now it makes sense. But what about those rebels who refuse to wear their IDs? How will we be able to distinguish between the 'terrorists' and our own kind? Everyone gets screwed. "Anyone who tries to make a distinction between education and entertainment doesn't know the first thing about either."

So now that you know exactly how to infiltrate my school, what do you plan on doing?

...And can I help?

Look out, here I come

"This had to happen eventually"

Those were the words that kicked off one of my all time favorite sites, humpasaurusjones.com. Absolute classic. And worthy of bad imitations from millions of disillusioned high school students across the nation.

But thats not us. We are a breed that truely stands out, whatever that means. We are talking about things we don't like in our culture, and trying to provide some solutions to these problems, and showing off what bad writers we are in the process.

COming up are some rants on our school ID, improving the schooling system, and lots of porn. I mean, viruses will be flowing out of your orifices just looking at all the links that will be posted. I promise.

Oh my God...I made a Blog!

Yeah, it was a matter of time before I stopped posting random shit on Facebook and decided to waste my time putting my thoughts somewhere else. If you read this, it's your loss, really.

I'm just kidding. I hope I can entertain you for a few minutes every day or so. If I do, then my job is complete.

So let me introduce myself. I am a person that sees cats EVERYWHERE. And I like the word WALRUS. You can thank the Beatles for that. Goo Goo Gajoob.

Umm... I have limited respect for authority these days. The government can suck my male reproductive organ. Unless Ron Paul gets elected, but let's face the facts: the US is not ready for real change. You think Clinton or Obama is going to give you change? Well, we'll see about that! The only change that either of them can bring to the White House is the fact that a minority will, for the first time, sit in the Oval Office as the leader of this nation. And possibly more taxes.

Anyway, that should be enough of a rant for today.

DUCK! THERE'S A CAT BEHIND YOU!