What is this shit?

For all of you fortunate enough not to attend high school, I'd like to inform you of the bullshit thats going on at mine. Students are being forced to wear these crappy little name tags that have our beautiful faces on them next to a bar code so we can be easily scanned, sorted, and shoved through the system like the ignorant lumps of shit the administration thinks we are. True, they're not that inconvenient, its just that they're useless as hell. And I don't appreciate being numbered and locked up like a fucking criminal, which is worthy of a rant itself....

Which reminds me, what was I saying? Only one paragraph in and I'm lost... sounds promising.

As afore mentioned, these IDs have a bar code, which has only one use: storing your fake money with the closet child molesters that run our 'house of education.' No joke, my freshman year a teacher was locked up for child porn, and a year later a music director from a middle school in our district followed suit. They should at least be able to get away with it. What do they teach you, nowadays...

But the ID has more than one use: it annoys the shit out of the majority of our student body. However, most students don't have the balls, patience, or wisdom to fight this arbitrary measure. The rest of this loosely connected rant will be dedicated to the education (and this is real education, not the bullshit they try to pass off as knowledge in class) of my peers.

First of all, these IDs are very plain. VERY. There are people faking passports, and doing a damn good job at it. Why can't these people, the dangerous, organized criminals that would probably be more effective than a stupid babbling idiot (but then again... look at who they would have to get past. Maybe getting past the prison guards is easier than I suspect.) not use their resources and make a fake ID? Fuck, all I've got is an internet connection and a printer and I can do it. Just take a picture of some awkward pimply teen, put it next to a Cheerio's bar code, and write a 5 digit number and you too can avoid getting a sent to sit in silence with a classroom full of your peers. But you wouldn't go to it anyway, you're got better things to do, like read the angry ramblings of a horny pimply teen. And the current policy for those lacking IDs is to send them to Transportation and get a retarded little sticker that has your name scribbled on it in the telltale handwriting of a person in the midsts of a crack binge. Like its so hard to walk in the general direction of the office for just long enough to appease whoever is sending you, after which you can carry on with your plan and finish blowing up the school.

Supposing that wasn't enough to stop terrorists from getting into our school, how about this: the IDs do not indicate who currently is holding weapons in their backpack, trousers, sexy underwear, etc. There are no alarms that go off when you bring a gun into the school. No bells go off when an oz of pure, powdery coke makes its way into the building. But they can tell if you're in a gang by your sense of fashion. Way to go keeping us safe.

But this is all bullshit, cause the ID is a security policy, right? In case of an emergency, the IDs would allow teachers to quickly determine who is in our school and who isn't, right? So the IDs only become useful in the case of an emergency? Ah, now it makes sense. But what about those rebels who refuse to wear their IDs? How will we be able to distinguish between the 'terrorists' and our own kind? Everyone gets screwed. "Anyone who tries to make a distinction between education and entertainment doesn't know the first thing about either."

So now that you know exactly how to infiltrate my school, what do you plan on doing?

...And can I help?